i just got home from college
i hate living with my parents
its terrible

they just dont understand
I HATE THIS

i know im rambling like the typical teenager
but seroiusly
this sucks

i dont think ill make it much longer 

 I went for a walk today
and i saw a ballon floating


it had sponge bob on it
and i thought to myself

about a time when i was very young
and i let go on my favorite doll in the supermarket
and i cried, and cried

i thought about how the kid who the ballon belonged to must feel
this is the start of his life long depression
just like mine was

 im sorry 
i need you

i want you back
so badly

 i hate you!!


i trusted you
i loved you
you were my everything
how could you do that to me

TWO YEARS!
two years gone
i fucking hate you

you called yourself a man
BUT YOU ARE NO WHERE NEAR A MAN

you did this to me
you are the reason for everything
 
you told me to lose weight
you told me i was "plump"
how do you think that makes me feel

you are the reason for the pills
and the alcohol

you are the reason for the throwing up
the cutting, the pain, the disapearance 
of every fucking friend i ever had

this is my first entry
of a very long journey

i need this
i need someone to talk to

even if it's juse talking to this internet journey
i want to be happy
i want a friend
i want to speak out

i learned this year
that life has its up and downs
but in my life
its all been downs